All Systems Go!

On Monday we had a fetal echo of the baby's heart.  It was not necessary to do because he checked out just fine at the level II ultrasound, but if you have ever had a scary experience with one of your children being born with a problem, you check for everything.  This was the case for me.  Call me a sceptic, but I had to have the heart looked over thoroughly and completely by a pediatric cardiologist who looks at hearts all day. Overdramatic? Maybe! A was of time and money? Probably! Reassuring? Definitely! We were given the complete thumbs up that his little heart looks "as good as a heart can look." No issues, no concerns, not even a follow-up needed.  Marcus and I were so happy leaving we almost flew out the door.  I told Dr. Lindblade, one of Eden's many cardiologists, that it was so nice to she him and please tell everyone hello, but see you later and I hope I never see you again! How thankful I am that we have been blessed with a completely healthy baby. Most couple expect their baby to be nothing but perfect, but we just hope for health with our record.  We have been truly blessed!

Six and Counting

Marcus and I celebrated our six year wedding anniversary yesterday.  It's hard to believe that we have only been married for six years as it seems like so much longer.  What an amazing, difficult, challenging and rewarding six years it has been and I am so thankful that I can wake up every morning to my very best friend.  In six years we have experienced the birth of three daughters, a miscarriage, the death of an infant, half of our 4th pregnancy, financial highs, financial struggles, selling a business, starting a new company, 10 hiking trips to Grand Canyon, 7 trips to Disneyland and memories to last a lifetime.  Marcus, I love you more now than I did six years ago and I think it is because of all of our life experiences.  I am very grateful that I have you by my side as my strength, my friend and my companion.  The wonderful blessing is that through it all, we have grown closer together.  I love you and I look forward to an eternity spent with you!

On another note, last Sunday was a beautiful angel day for Eden.  It was so much nicer than I could have imagined and I thank all of you for your kind thoughts, your love and prayers.  Eden was very close to us that day and I was filled with love and comfort.  What a special little girl we were given and I will cherish her forever. Church was so nice that day in particular and our time at the cemetery with her was very sweet.  Although we miss her so much and the girls still talk of her all the time, I know she is where she needs to be and this is the Lord's plan for our family.

Eden's Angel Day

It is finally here, the one year anniversary of Eden's passing.  Here is an excerpt from last year;s post describing the event:

At 1:31 am on July 5th, Eden Grace Ridgway passed away.  She was surrounded by those who loved her most, I was blessed to hold her and sing to her my favorite primary song as she passed from me, her father on earth, to her Father in Heaven.  

I like to look for rainbows whenever there is rain

and ponder on the beauty of an earth made clean again.

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain.

I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

I know when I am baptized my wrongs are washed away

and I can be forgiven and improve myself each day.

I want my life to be as clean as earth right after rain

I want to be the best I can and live with God again.

We called grandparents to meet us at the hospital and around 11:00pm on July 4th we gathered in her room.  We started with a prayer by Keisa's father after which my dad gave me a Father's Blessing.  The three of us (Paul, my dad and me) then gave a blessing to Eden.  In the prayer I blessed her and released her from her mortal body so she would be free from pain and suffering, to live in peace with God until we are all reunited once again as an eternal family.  We then started to disconnect some of her medications but left those that would keep her comfortable and pain free.  All of the grandparents took turns holding her after which Keisa and I held our little girl for a time.  When it felt right, Keisa handed Eden to me and we extubated her and she quickly passed gracefully and beautifully in my arms.

The Spirit in the room was amazing and we knew what we had done was Father's will.  It was so difficult to see our baby girl leave us, but we know it will be for a short time in comparison to eternity and that we will see her again.  We were so happy she was no longer in pain.  She had reached a point in the evening that it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep her comfortable because of her condition and everyone knew it was time to let her go.  

We arrived home around 4:00 am and were soon awakened at 6:00 am by our early riser, Ainsley. It's nice to know that the world keeps turning and things continue on regardless of what we are going through.  We are so tired yet we have so much to figure out.  We know that through the Savior's Atonement we are comforted and strengthened. We feel this now more than ever before in our lives and are thankful to know that the Plan of Salvation is real.

It was without a doubt the most spiritual experience of my life that night and I am so thankful that my Heavenly Father made something so very difficult so peaceful and spiritual as well.  I am amazed at how much I learned from one single evening.  I learned that the Lord never leaves us alone.  This does not mean that he takes all of our trials, challenges, pain and anguish away from us for He does not, but He will help us through them if we search for Him and allow the Spirit into our lives.  I learned that I love my husband and companion more than I ever thought possible.  He is an amazing man and I believe that God gave him to me to carry me through difficult trials like this one.  I learned that life is precious and every moment should be seen as sacred and treasured.  

I miss my Eden something fierce, but I know that she is happy, healthy and safe in the arms of the Lord.  I know that I will see her again.  Today is for her and the wonderful addition she is to our family, it is for her memory and the special moments we shared.

We love you Eden!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARKIE B

Today is my sweethearts 39th birthday and I have to admit that I got a winner!  I waited a long time for someone like Marcus to come along and I tell him all the time that he is my knight in shining armor.  I am so thankful to have my very best friend in the world as my husband and companion.  Thank you Marcus for your strength when I am weak and for your support when I falter.  Thank you for treating me like a true princess and making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the room. Thank you for being an amazing father, the girls adore you more than life itself.  I love you Marcus and I wish you a very happy, prosperous year.  I am so thankful that I have you to travel through life's journey with, for I could not survive all the "bumps" in the road without you by my side.  I LOVE YOU FOREVER!!!

Here are a few facts about Marcus:

• He was a very accomplished juniors and high school tennis player.
• He was state champion in FFA (Future Farmers of America) for Dairy Cow Judging and Public Speaking/Interviewing.
• He served a mission for our church in Helsinki, Finland.
• He is a closet chef, he LOVES to cook.
• He was a professional fly fishing guide at Robert Redford's Sundance Resort.
• He started, owned and franchised a frozen custard (very rich ice cream) shop.
• He passed the L-SAT.
• He passed the M-CAT.
• He graduated from ASU with a degree in Communication - Conflict Negotiation.
• He is an entrepreneur at heart starting his first business at age 5 (polishing and selling rocks).
• He owns a successful real estate management company to date.
• He is a plumber, gardener, farmer, handy man, mechanic, electrician extraordinaire at our house.
• He loves me better than I could have dreamed possible.
• He treats his children so well that the cry every day when he leaves for work.

Marcus, I am proud to be your wife.  You truly are the love of my life!!!!!