Going Green

I've said it before and I'll say it again.

I would make a very good European because I would be as happy as a clam if I could walk, run or bike to every destination I needed. I would love it if I NEVER had to drive a car. Well, I am not European and the Valley is a very large, metropolitan so I do the best I can. It is not uncommon at all to see me running, stroller and all, to the bank, the grocery store, the post office, even Target. I love to run and this is like killing two birds with one stone for me.

Today I bundled up Emerson and Kanyon (it is in the 50's here and we think that's arctic!) and headed to Target. It's about 3 miles one way so a perfect 6 mile round trip run and errand outing, with one less child to boot. My plan was to pick up a prescription and 2 little items. Hah!!!! If you are like me, you go into Target with only a couple of things on your list and come out with four bags full of stuff you "had to have." That happened this morning, but my items happened to be big things. When I got to the check out, the gal said "did you get a little more than you can carry?" "Not to worry," I responded. "I will make it work," and make it work I did.

As you can see I loaded up all of my belongings and ran right home. Sure, I got some very odd stares and a few chuckles from people driving by, but I didn't mind. I had completed my errand, I was running home and loving the fresh air. As you can see though, I did have to bribe Emerson with her bag of $1 popcorn so she would agree to her mom's crazy antics.

As you can see, the bottom of my stroller was completely stuffed full of stuff. It was like a tetras fitting it all under there. I even had a few things in the little zipper pockets in the back of the stroller!

As you can see by our sweet Kanyon's face, he was not bothered at all with the extra baggage. He was warm and snug and that's all that matters. I really do love my morning stroller outings, they will be lasting memories for me.

Growing Up Too Fast

Has it really been almost a month since I last posted?!?

You can all call me a big time slacker, but I have had such good intentions. Boy does having a baby right before the holiday season add a completely new dimension to an already hectic schedule. I guess it doesn't help that I had a birthday party at the house for Ainsley's 5th the week before Thanksgiving, I offered to host Thanksgiving, and now I am preparing to host our church's annual cookie exchange on Tuesday. The bright side to this is that we have "decked the halls" and our house is so festive. Also, I really have to give credit where it is due. My fabulous husband is the number one decorator in our house and he goes ALL OUT. To give you an idea, we rent a storage unit for all of our holiday decor. Marcus has worked tirelessly to get the house ready and he even changed the tree this year. We have our "formal" tree in the living (reverent) room, which he is doing in earth tone blue and silver with tons of ribbon, bulbs and black picture frames hung as ornaments full of our family memories. I boast to everyone that he is the decorator and I am merely the clean up crew and I don't mind at all!

As for Kanyon, he is growing like a weed. He is still such a fabulous little baby and we feel so blessed every day. In fact, as crazy as it sounds we sometimes wonder if it can really be true that things are so "normal" right now in our lives. The most difficult thing right now is that I am so ready for a full nights sleep. However, when I wake up to feed him I fall more in love and I just think about how I missed waking up for Eden. We seem to miss her more than ever right now and the girls talk about her all the time. It's difficult, bottom line and she still occupies my thoughts every day. This time of year is rough because she is missing from everything we do, all the pictures, parties, memories. We have been bless though with a very healthy, happy baby and we are totally in love with him.

Enjoy the pictures, I will show off our tree very soon!

Emerson can not get enough of her brother. She says being a big sister is so much better than being a little sister!

Kanyon at 4 weeks! He LOVES his bath, especially when I get him as deep in the very warm water as possible.

The birthday girl at her party. We had a balloon guy come and do a show for all the kids. He was a hit!

Like father like son! Is it just me or is he the spitting image of his daddy?

Ainsley woke up to roses and her favorite breakfast, Fruit Loops, on her 5th birthday.

The girls just can not get enough of their brother and he loves the attention.

The Birth Story

Getting home and getting settled and I finally found a few moments to update everyone.

As Marcus said, Kanyon Bryant was born on Thursday the 29th at 1:16 pm. Obviously, Marcus and I were both very anxious going into the c-section and just couldn't wait to hear that everything was fine with our little man. The moment they pulled Kanyon out he was crying and that was so reassuring. He had quite a bit of fluid in his lungs, but that can be common for c-section babies as they are not squeezed through the birth canal. He quickly resolved that problem and stayed by my side the entire time without needing the nursery or any other interventions. My surgery went as expected, but after returning to recovery I was still bleeding too much. I needed a few different medications and some extra time in recovery before they felt my bleeding was under control and no longer a problem. Poor Marcus, I could see the concern on his face thinking that my baby is perfect this time, but now it's a problem with my wife. We had to have a little drama I guess. I am feeling good now, 6 days later, and am savoring every moment with Kanyon AT HOME. The rest of our hospital stay was very uneventful and relaxing. Thank you to everyone that called, texted, and visited not just to meet Kanyon but to wish me a happy birthday. It truly was a sweet 35th birthday for me with my sweet little baby at my side.

Kanyon breast feeds very well and loves to sleep. He only woke up once last night to eat! I have to admit that I am spoiling him a little more than I did Ainsley and Emerson because I just never want to put him down. I have even given in to letting him sleep on my chest during the night and I NEVER thought I would do that. My how certain experiences change everything. He had his first trip to the pediatrician yesterday and passed with flying colors. He has even gained weight from birth in his first 5 days, which doesn't surprise me as he is a good eater! I am learning how to change a little boys diaper and yes, we have all been peed on a few times. It's a good thing I have lots of newborn sleepers because yesterday alone he peed on 3 of them. I really need to learn how to do the diaper change or wear a mask. The girls think it's hilarious though and we all end up laughing by the time it's over.

My hospital is still allowing healthy siblings to visit so we surprised the girls and brought them to visit a few times. They were very hesitant the first time they saw Kanyon, but warmed up to their brother very fast. Emerson asked me, "mommy, is this where Kanyon is going to live?" referring to the hospital. When I told her no, he will come home to our house she started clapping and jumping around. Now, every time she says the family prayer she thanks Heavenly Father for letting her baby brother come to our house to live forever. They can not get enough of him, but I love to watch how sweet and tender they are and so very helpful. I can imagine they were nervous to get attached at first, but seeing now that he does normal baby things they are hooked. Every time Ainsley sees him she says, "he's just soooooo cute!"

This has been our little fairytale so far and I am so thankful for how blessed we are. Kanyon brings a very sweet, special spirit into our home and when I look at him I get a feeling that Eden is smiling down from heaven so happy for all of us and definitely a part of this special time.

On my way to the hospital!

Meeting their brother for the first time.

Marcus's mom, Dorothy, Super Girl, and of course we dressed Kanyon up as well.

"Mommy, I put on sanitizer, can I hold him?" I hear this at least once an hour.

Even daddy is hooked, and tired! Boy bonding time I guess.

Could my Ainsley look any happier to be a "big, big, big" sister

CONGRATS TO MOM!

Dad here -

Kanyon Bryant Ridgway was born around 1:13 pm, 7.65 lbs, and 20 inches long. Mom is doing great, she went for a little run this evening logging in a quick 20 miles... okay, just joking... she's sitting up and in good spirits!

After a long few months we have some rejoicing in our home... a boy at last! I want to thank all of you out there for your love, support, and prayers.

The Final Countdown!

It really is the final countdown as our little man will be here exactly one week from today!

I can not believe how fast this pregnancy has gone and how nervous and anxious I get as we get closer. I can remember like it was last week how I was feeling the week before Eden's birth. So many emotions floating around in my head and in my heart. It is much thee same this time, but the feelings and emotions are so very different. I still worry every day that everything will be fine with our little guy and I guess I can say I am still a little skeptic, maybe I just don't have enough real faith or maybe I am a "doubting thomas" by nature.

It is so interesting that the closer I get to this birth, the more I miss my sweet Eden. I miss holding her and kissing her and smelling her. I miss touching her little hands and feet and rubbing her cheeks. Sometimes I think what I wouldn't give for just 5 minutes with her again to see and hold her. I try not to feel cheated or robbed of my baby, it just is what it is and I have to make the most of it and be a better person for her. She is spending her last days with her brother and then he will not remember her here on earth. The girls have started talking about her more lately as well and they tell everyone that "I am having a baby brother, but we also have a baby sister in heaven." I can't wait to watch the girls with their brother to see how sweet they will treat him. It's so cute to see because they are literally giddy when we talk about him coming in one week. I want this to be perfect for them, just as it should be.

His room is ready, his clothes, blankets, towels and bedding and washed and placed. However, I will not let Marcus install the car seat yet and I have not moved the bassinet into our room just yet. I probably won't do either of those things until the day he comes home. We had Eden's car seat in place and didn't take it out for over 2 months. What a crappy day that was! Her bassinet sat in our bedroom until the week after she passed. Even in the final days/weeks when I really knew she would not come home I could not bring myself to move the bassinet because to me that was a sign of giving up in my mind. Will I cry next Thursday when he is born? Probably! Will I see Eden in him and think of her? Maybe! Will I feel Eden there that morning as we welcome her brother into our family? Boy, I sure hope so!!!

This journey is hard, it is strange, it is wonderful. Most important though is that it is my journey and I am so thankful to have a wonderful, loving husband and friend and special children to share it with me. They make each day worth living for me.

Betty Crocker Lives!

Since we will be in the triple digits again this weekend, I thought it still wasn't too late to give a re-cap of our summer festivities.

We did not take any real trips this summer, rather we stayed home and spent just about everyday in a pool. Since we do not have our own pool we went to friends, grandparents and even neighbors houses to swim and loved every minute of it. The girls really took off with their swimming and for a while I thought we had two little mermaids living with us. It's a big relief for me to see them swimming so well and so comfortable in the water.

I like to say that I played Betty Crocker this summer. As you can see from the photos, we (which I use loosely as I did most of the work) did a TON of canning. I spent three different days canning jam and one day doing peaches. We made strawberry, blackberry, raspberry and triple berry jam and have decided that raspberry is our favorite this time. I prefer to make the low-sugar jam as it has more of a berry over sugar taste. Not lying, I probably have over 60 different sized jam jars and that is after giving lots away. However, since I make fresh whole wheat bread each week there is nothing better than a slice of fresh bread with butter and jam. Now that is a piece of heaven to me!!!! My mom and I spent one whole day canning fresh Utah peaches and they are delicious. We canned 40 jars worth and only had 1 1/2 bad peaches in the entire bunch. So yummy!!!! I have always loved to bake, but I can honestly say that I really enjoy canning and baking each week. Ask me to bake something over cook a meal any day!

Just the beginning of the jam-o-thons!

Emerson washing the loads of jamming dishes (of trying to at least).

I think I wore that outfit for every canning session!

Ainsley's job was to unload the clean jars from the dishwasher, with daddy's fishing hat on of course!

So many peaches.

Do they look beautiful or what?!?

The girls and I did go away for a weekend with my parents to a family reunion and while we were gone my fabulous husband did some serious cleaning and re-organizing. For those of you who had seen our office and toy room before (bless you for surviving the experience), you will be amazed at the transformation. The office, which was once a pit of despair is now my favorite room in the house for relaxing and reading. We finally organized the toy room with containers for everything and are in the process now of having a loft built for the girls. The ceilings are very high in the toy room so to utilize all of the space Marcus thought a loft, or indoor tree house as he calls it, would be so fun. I can't wait to have a few sleepovers up there!

The toy room finally ship shape.

Our living room, which we also call the reverent room. We added some furniture to make it more complete.

The best for last, the office. I could not get the full desk in the picture but it's a corner desk on the left side.

The summer passed much too quickly, but we really did have fun. Now, I'm off to make some dark chocolate chip cookies, YUM!!

"Nothing to Worry About!"

While at my OB appointment yesterday I heard these infamous words, "Don't stress, it's nothing to worry about!" They came after we heard something different while listening to his heartbeat with the doppler. I laid down like normal not thinking anything and then when we started listening to his heart we heard what sounded like an extra beat, or half of a beat. I wanted to ask him immediately what that was, but couldn't because my heart was in my throat. However, he told me not to worry at all it is a type of irregular heartbeat called a Premature Atrial Contraction (PAC) which is quite common in fetus's and 99% of the time corrects itself before birth. He went on to explain that most adults have 1-5 PAC's per day and that number rises with age. He did not seemed concerned at all, but I think he could see the stress on my face because he reminded me quickly that it has nothing to do with the structure of his heart, which is perfect, but just that it is young and we may never hear it again. "Don't Worry!" Easier said than done especially for someone whose last baby passed away from a heart ailment. I guess I have to take his word for it that it is not a big deal, I was just hoping for no drama at all from here on out. Oh well, life keeps us on our toes I guess!