Open Invitation!

The Ridgway's are going to Disneyland again!

Are those expressions priceless or what!?!

That's right, it is our favorite place and we are on our way again at the end of the month.  The invitation is open to any and all who would like to join us.  Note: it's good to go to Disneyland with the Ridgway's.  We learned everything we know about the "Magic Kingdom" from our dear friends the Spencer family and we thank them profusely!  We will be leaving at the end of the month.  If you would like to join us, let me know and I will tell you the dates.  Come on, you know you want to come.  It really is the "happiest place on earth!"  On a more serious note, it really is neat to see your children so excited and I don't know what it is, but Disneyland really does make me happy...it's the fairy tale world you escape into for me I think.

I took Emerson to her pediatrician this week for her fainting spell and although she felt like it was all due to dehydration and low blood sugar she sent us to a cardiologist just to be sure.  The moment she said that she wanted us to see a cardiologist I started to panic.  So many way too recent emotions came rushing back to the surface and I worried that Emerson might have a heart issue as well.  Of course, I started to cry and thankfully we know our pediatrician very well so we just chatted for a while.  Well, I took Emerson this morning to the cardiologist and after a number of tests (multiple blood pressures, a pulse ox reading, an ECG and a complete physical),which I was told are routine for any child that visits, we were given a clean bill of heart health for Emerson.  Boy did that make me breath easier!  They agreed that her fainting spell was due to dehydration, elevation (we were camping in the mountains) and low blood sugar.  Basically, I have to keep her tank full or she will run out of gas.  She was so exceptionally good through all of it and I am so proud of how brave she is for her age.  This will be comical for all of the heart mommies out there.  When they hooked her up to the pulse oximeter, which reads how much oxygen your blood is carrying, they put it on her big toe and it immediately read 99-100.  The nurse got so excited and said "WOW, I NEVER see that number in here!"  You can't get any higher than 100 so that was a good sign.

Marcus and I have also decided to see a geneticist before we have another child.  I called today to make an appointment with the MD that was referred by my OB.  When I explained our situation, the nurse spoke with the doctor and told me that we do not need genetic tests for Eden's and Emerson's issues.  The only way to make sure it did not happen again would be to

do IVF (invitro).  I did not know what to say so I just thanked her and hung up.  Who knows, maybe they both really were fluke incidents, but I was hoping to have some tests done to make sure.

Ainsley had a break through this week with Eden's death.  She has been waking up at night quite often since Eden passed and whenever we ask her at night what is wrong, she can't give us an answer.  At dinner the other night she finally told us that the reason she wakes up at night is because she wants to talk about Eden.  We told her she could talk about her any time she wanted and we would answer any and all of her questions.  She then said "Eden is really never coming home is she?"  To which Marcus responded "No Ainsley, Eden will never live with us in our home.  She lives in heaven now with Jesus."  Ainsley then said, "but, she will live with us again when the Resurrection happens, right?!?"  We answered yes, but that we did not know when that would be and it will probably be a long time from now.  She instantly started crying and got so sad.  It was like she finally understood.  You might remember the photos I posted of the funeral.  There was one picture of a paper figure Ainsley made that represented Eden and she hung it on the fridge.  It has been on our fridge ever since, until a few nights ago.  Right after our conversation, she walked over to the fridge and started taking it down.  When I asked her what she was doing she said, "we don't need this here anymore because Eden is never coming home to our house to live so I want to throw it away."  It was so difficult for Marcus and I watch her take it down, but we had to let her do it because we both think it's her way of grieving and moving forward.  I could not throw it away so I put it in her scrapbook and shed a few tears.  I was so naive to think that Eden's death would not effect my girls, however they prove that it has been very difficult for them as well and they miss her and mourn her loss just as much as Marcus and I.

Despite the challenge it is to move forward and deal with this situation, I really feel like our little family is so blessed.  Having Eden in our family has blessed and strengthened us more than I can express.  I love Eden and I will always miss her, but how thankful I am for the 4 months I had with her on earth before Heavenly Father called her home.