Down We Go

Beware: these photos are not for the faint of heart.

My sweet Eden's incision is now a wound that is hard to heal.

As you can see, she just didn't have enough skin to close it up after the infection scraping.

No surgery right away, or so they said yesterday.

However, this morning we received one of the infamous "phone calls."  Dr. Bakerman, Eden's intensivist called to say that Eden has gotten worse and is getting sicker.  At this point they do not know why she is taking a downward slide.  They have sent in a number of cultures to see if she has an infection, but everything has come back negative.   I should explain a little better, by "getting sicker" I mean that they have had to substantially increase her ventilator settings, give her more medications "drugs" and put her on a continuous diuretic drip because she swelled up badly.  She is still not getting any food as she continues to have a little diarrhea.  They were thinking to start a new formula tomorrow (they still don't think she can do breastmilk...and I have SOOOO much!), but after today they might hold off.  She has had a slight fever on and off since later yesterday afternoon, but again with nothing conclusive.

Now for the surgery issues.  None of her doctors want to rush into surgery for many reasons.    For one, her incision has still not healed very well and continues to look like a flesh wound.  That could be a prime spot for an infection to enter during surgery.  Also, they would like to see her breathing better on her own before attempting surgery.  She is also quite puffy and it is not good to go into surgery with fluid retention.  The bottom line however, is that they do not have complete confidence that Eden will make it through another MAJOR heart surgery right now.  They question if she could come off the bypass machine and if she has the reserves to survive.  They said that they would be more prone to do surgery right away if they thought it would make a marked improvement for Eden, but sadly enough they aren't sure if she will be any better after this surgery.  No one knows if it will really repair her heart well enough to sustain her.

It has taken me nine weeks to better come to terms with the fact that it is completely out of my control and the Lord is in charge.  I have seen the Lord's hand in my life countless times, all for my good, so I have to have faith that this experience will also be for my benefit.  I can not deny that He has a plan for me and my family.  I just have to use all of my faith at a time like this.  These are the experiences that can make me a better person and strengthen my faith.  I am thankful that the Lord loves me enough to surround me with wonderful friends and family who love, support and pray for Eden.  Thank you all and please continue to strengthen her with your prayers.