My Little Puff Ball

You can see just what a marshmallow she is.

I think her wound looks much better than last week, don't you?

It was my happy mother's day spending some time with Eden.

We love to hold hands and chat.

Eden is our little puff ball lately as she just can't seem to get rid of the fluid retention.  They don't know why she won't let it go.  As you can see in the pictures, she seems to arch her head back and they think it's because her neck and "jowls" are so swollen.  She is still on the ventilator, but they have decreased her settings a bit.  They are also feeding her again through her NG tube (the tube in the nose.)  She is on a formula called Progestimil, which is lactose free and even easier to digest than breast milk.  It is partially digested so all of the proteins are broken down already.  We will hopefully get to mommy's milk some day.  I think that all of her doctors would like to see her lungs improve a little and they are going to lay low this week to see if she can improve.  Surgery is right around the corner we just don't know exactly when.  If they have to do the trach, that becomes a whole other issue.  It's so difficult at times because I love to have everything scheduled exactly and with Eden it is really day to day.  I hate not knowing a sure plan of attack.  We have to let Eden dictate the pace and obviously she like to take her time.  Her surgeon feels that she is still trying to recover from the horrible blood infection she had around Easter.  He said those are very dangerous and take so much out of these little babies.  She continues to amaze me every day with her strength and determination to pull through.  I hope this will serve her will in the future.

Happy Mother's Day to all of the mommies out there.  Being a mother is one of the hardest things I have ever done, but it is also more rewarding than anything else in my life.  

I am thankful for Ainsley because she taught me how to be a mother.  She teaches me every day how to love without end and her beautiful smile is contagious.  She is my princess!

My sweet Emerson taught me how to be an advocate for my children.  She shows me on a daily basis how to love others without boundaries and how to LOVE life.  She is my miracle.

I love my Eden because she taught me the deepest of loves, that only  mother knows.  I am humbled by the spirit that adorns her and the peace she brings to all that meet her.  She is my saving grace.

I love being a mother!

Thank you to all of the mothers who are such stellar examples to me of what I can become.  Thank you to my own mother who I will forever believe is the greatest mother that anyone could ever have.  I am so blessed!