The Phone Call

I will start by saying that the lat two days were wonderful for the most part.  I was able to hold Eden again on Monday and Tuesday and I can't explain how wonderful it was just to sit with her and rock her and look at her.  If I knew then what would transpire, I would have held her longer and relished in it even more.

She had to have another central line put in on Monday and they had to put her under again to find a suitable vein.  A central line is a like an IV, but it goes in through a vein and ends up right next to the heart.  They put hers in through her right jugular (in the neck) and it can stay in very long term if they need.  They plan to use it for drawing blood and to give her medication.  I was so nervous for the procedure because they had to intubate her again (put in her breathing tube).  She did fine though and came back without the tube so I was relieved.

She continues to have some drainage from around her lungs so her chest tubes are still in to suction her.  She seems to be having less drainage and hopefully it is due to things healing inside her body, but it is also a possibility that her tubes are clogged so they will use something to clear them and go from there.  Before I left yesterday they took another chest x-ray and they think she is just healing!  Very good news.  

She also has a little infection in her incision so Dr. Pearl had to remove some sutures, drain the site and then pack it with some medicine stuff.  They increased her antibiotics as well so we are hoping that she does not get a more serious infection.

We went to bed last night very happy with the last few days and feeling like maybe she was really on a good path.  Those thoughts ended when the phone rang at 11:30 pm.  Who else calls that late except the hospital and it's never good news.  Anyway, they told us that last night she started struggling to breath again and after trying a number of things, they had to intubate her again.  She is back to having a breathing tube and that means she is back to being sedated and no one can hold her.  The worst part is that they don't know what caused her to have difficulties. 

Needless to say, that was a crushing blow to me and Marcus.  The roller coaster must have gone down a little hill.  I am trying to think of the good days we had and remember that the end result of getting her healthy is most important.  I feel like this is going to kill me though along the way.  It is so hard to deal with all the ups and downs and my heart aches for her that she has to endure all of this.  I know there is a reason for all of this and I have so much to learn from it, but I hate that it is a lesson for me (and other adults) at her expense.  It's these moments that I just struggle with the "whys" of everything.

I do know though that me and my family receive so much strength and faith from all of you.  Thank you again for loving and supporting and praying for us.  Little Eden is so much stronger than her mommy and I am so proud of her for fighting through.  I love to be close to her because I can feel a very special, strong spirit in her room and I am sure that angels are with her.  Please continue to pray for her and know that we appreciate you all more than words can express.

Today will be a good day!